Learning and observing

Each day that passes I feel the urge to be home growing..I am sure that this is normal. There are issues that are arising that we need to deal with in "THE FAMILY" setting. Issues I know she will handle better with Hap than I. She know about a dad,not a mom. She relates to men better. Even tho past relationships have not been good ones. She has never had a mom, just a grandmother that I plan on digging deeper into because all I know now is that it was not good. She and I do well. We have a bond that grows each day. But when it comes to certain things she needs Hap to be the one to push. I can tell that with each day she trusts me more and more which is an accomplishment..I am very happy for that. I am "really" seeing her personality and who she is..I like it..I really look to the time where we can communicate on a deep level..I so want to understand her mind. I look for the time that I can open up my whole heart to her with my words. We are connecting on a deeper level I believe than if we could just talk..Pretty cool to observe.. School is to start here in a week or two. I really dont see why I should enroll her for 2 weeks. It is costly to start a kid in school here. No wonder there are so many kids that dont get that education. Uniforms, shoes, books, supplies..Was talking to someone that it could cost $300-$400. Plus when the papers past the NVC we will be doing medical exams and interviews..Missed school. Plus what she gets here will not benifit her in Florida..I was thinking of an English teacher instead..But I still have to answer to DIF..We shall see. Today Faith and her sister Debs came and we all went to visit Grandma Mary at Rivers of Mercy orphanage. Nice place..I could tell being in the building was freaking Sandra out some so when she asked to go outside I thought best. When I looked out she was chatting with the little girls. The oldest there is 9. After we left she said how one day she hopes to help the orphanages here in Juarez,which is a very normal thought pattern for the kids I have stayed in contact with that have been adopted. Once we settle in with family life, we hope to become connected again with outreach here in Juarez. We believe it will be good for Sandra too.. After we left we went for pizza. It had been 2 or so weeks since my girl has had pizza and she was starting to have that "Gotta have pizza look". It is one of her favorites. Nothing planned for tomorrow. I hope to push her with some english. That is one thing I know that she will relate to better with Hap than me. I have seen how John can get her to do it better than I. Also Carlos. That man thing I was talking about. Anyway, all is good.No word today on if the paper has gone to NVC. I will be sending an e-mail first thing in the morning again to see if Beth at Gladney has heard anything. GOD has been very faithful to give me the peace to do this. The knowledge to know he is with us and in control. To be more gentle, and having more loving understanding of people...Makes all this much easier. ..I read somewhere that
Gentleness, sympathy and loving understanding is developed by the daily practice of bending submissively to life's hard and difficult experiences without bitterness, or resentful resistance or self-pity.
P.S. I look you my husband and it is getting closer to that time.[look,typing error. but Hap responded so I have to leave it. I was thinking about looking forward to seeing him and loving him ]